Russia's Scarf
by xlittlecrazyviex
Summary: Warning; Rochu, creepy Russia, and spazzy China. China always kept to himself. He liked it that way. No, he loved it that way! However, there was one question always lingering in his mind. Why does Russia wear the scarf all the time!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER; I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, AND I NEVER WILL.**

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_Hetalia_  
**Russia's Scarf**  
Part 1

China usually wasn't a curious man. No, not at all. He kept to himself and he liked it that way. Especially with those western nations. They were too loud and, even though China wouldn't admit it, scary. It felt right to keep to himself. China was perfectly happy with his pandas and Hello Kitty collection. He couldn't live any other way. Well...the way things were 4,000 years ago was an exception but other then that nothing would make him change.

But there was always this question lingering in China's mind.

Why does Russia wear his scarf all the time?!

Some claimed he was born with it. Others claimed Ukraine gave it to him, but there's no proof in either of those. Many nations decided it wasn't their business and never put it to thought. China was the exact same way. Of course, things changed, wither the nation wanted it or not.

China first noticed the scarf at the first Allies conference. Russia was just sitting there, in his tan coat, purple scarf, and creepy smile. It was rather cold outside, that was true, but why would Russia keep his clothes on in the very warm conference room. For some reason no one mentioned it. The old nation understood. Russia was creepy, very creepy in fact. So he just brushed it aside as Russia being Russia.

The next day, it was warmer, and China was early for once. He was nibbling on some rice when Russia walked in, still in the same clothes from yesterday.

"Sorry I am late. I was just having breakfast, da?" With a creepy smile he sat down next to China. The old nation bit his lip and his eyes roamed to the piece of cloth wrapped around the big boned Russian's neck. The meeting went on without a word from either man. England, France, and America's voices were drowned out by the thoughts that were tumbling through China's head. Even when America brought out Germany's secret military journal, Russia was silent. Everyone can admit Russia was a little creepy, but this was a bit much. China leaned over to England.

"England, what's is wrong with Russia, aru?" China whispered softly into England's ear. The island nation bounced off his seat and shaked softly.

"What are you talking about, China? Russia is just fine. Can't you tell?" He pointed at the said nation who's smile gotten somewhat imore/i creepier in the past minute. China might be old but he wasn't an idiot. He noticed England was breathing in short breathes and looking around the plain room, ignoring the Chinese man's gaze.

"Are you sure, England, aru? He just seems more-"

"Alright, dudes! Time to go home. Everything discussed here is top secret, so nothing leaves this room. Got it?" America interrupted, neatening his papers that China swore were just covered in random scribbles. For some reason, iAmerica/i also seemed nervous for some reason. And he was the 'hero'. England and America cast a glance and China raised an eyebrow. He turned to France for some explanation but found him quickly leaving the room, sweat running down his face.

Well...that helped.

Time ticked on.

June...

July...

August...

The years went by.

1940...

1941...

Then one day China couldn't take it anymore! He needed to know!

It was during one of the final Allies meetings when his plan started to go into action. China felt his palms sweat as he thought about it. His tongue was dry and his hair was out of place. This might have been the most idiotic thing the elder nation has done in his 4000 years of life. His fingers were like butter and couldn't hold anything for a long amount of time. Even the Chinese tasty treats didn't make him feel better. Then finally America ended the meeting and went out to buy 'McDiddys' or whatever they were called.

Russia stayed in his seat.

This was his chance.

"Russia, aru. May I ask you something, aru?" China muttered no higher than a whisper. He licked his dry lips and played with the spit in his mouth before swallowing.

"Da, China. What is it?" Russia tilted his head to the side and fished out a bottle of vodka from his jacket. He shoved it in China's face. "Want some, da?"

China looked up at the extremely tall and extremely scary Russian. He swore he saw a purple aura surround the two of them and China suddenly had the urge to drink the vodka. His butter-like fingers gripped the body of the small bottle. China used his other hand told cradle the bottom of the bottle and brought it to his lips. One sip. Two sips. For some reason, the burning sensation of the alcohol felt...good. But, he didn't want to drink all the vodka belonging to the creepiest nation on earth. China brought the bottle back down and slipped it into the waiting Russian's hands.

"So, Russia. Would you like to, you know, go on a date with me, aru?"

Silence...

_This was a bad idea!_ China thought. _Now he's going to kill me with that water pipe he always has for some apparent reason!_

"Sure."

...Wait, what?

"...What, aru?" China stuck his fingers in his ears and wiggled them around to check for earwax. Nope, squeaky clean.

"I said, sure. Pick me up at 8, da?" Russia slipped the vodka into his pocket and gracefully slipped through the door.

Well, it's official.

China has a date.


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: ABUSE OF THE FORTH WALL. XDDD**

**ALSO, NO UNKNOWN MEN WERE MURDERED DURING THIS STORY!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HETALIA!**

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_Hetalia_  
**Russia's Scarf**  
Part 2

...This was a mistake.

China sighed as he slipped on his best clothes. For some reason he was more self-conscious for some reason. His pants had a stain on them, his jacket was wrinkled, and his shoes looked older than usual. Wait, what the hell? Why does China even care?! It's just Russia, for Dao's sakes! There was nothing to worry about. Except for that water pipe, and those strong arms that could snap the old nation like a twig, and don't forget his crazy sister, Belarus.

...This was a BIG mistake.

_Ring! Ring!_

"OHMYGODWHATISTHATNOISEMAKEIT STOP, ARU! SHINATTY-CHANSAVEME, ARU!" China darted for the sheets, tears starting to make their way down his face. His hand slipped around the blankets and his body started to twist and turn in random directions. "Make it stop!" China rested on his pillow, not caring that he was in a human-blanket knot.

_RING! RING!_

"HOLY S-" China jumped up and felt him hit something hard. His telephone. The source of the ringing. "O..oh... Well...this is embarrassing, aru."

He could hear Taiwan sigh on the other side of China's door.

China grabbed his phone and brought it to his ear.

"Hello, aru?"

"China. I'll pick you up in a half an hour, da?" China gulped at the voice. Oh no! iI hoped Russia forgot!/i China bit his lip and tried to make words come out of his mouth. It was dry. This was bad. Very bad.

...He should've just ignored the Russian like he always did. Stupid scarf!

"Are you there, da?"

China swallowed the lump that reformed in his throat.

"Y-Yes, aru."

"Good! I'll pick you up in a half an hour, da? Goodbye."

_Click!_

...Crap!

_Knock! Knock!_

"HOLYFUCKWHOISTHAT, ARU?! SHINATTY-CHANHOLDME, ARU!" China hid behind his couch and lifted his head over the back. Now is NOT a time to be a wimp! China gulped and called out.

"W...who is it, aru?"

"It's Mother Russia, da?"

...

"...Da?"

...China looked at the clock. How can a half an hour pass, ialready?!/i Fuck you, time! China looked around for a window, a secret hole in the wall, SOMETHING to hide from the Russian. He should've read fanfiction about Russia's scarf then put matters into his own hands! The nation turned back to the door again. He knew Russia was waiting. And was probably armed...

That was enough to get the Chinese man to stand up, swiftly walk to the door, and open it. Suddenly he was engulfed in wool, leather, and...is that muscle? Russia. Big-boned-but-really-just-fat Russia has imuscle?!/i ...Maybe he is just big boned.

"China! It was nice for you to invite me on this date, da?" Russia smiled down at the Chinese man and China swore he saw those purple eye sparkle for some reason.

"R...right, aru."

"Well, let's go, da! Russia will take you to a really nice restaurant, I promise!" Russia gripped China's hand lightly and started to drag him away. _Well...maybe this will be nice, aru._ China thought. _I mean...how bad could it be?_

_He took me to a Russian FAST FOOD RESTURANT?!_

Yes, for a date, Russia took China to Teremok, a Russian fast food resturant that is very similar to McDonalds. So you readers out there just take a McDonalds, replace it with Russian colors, and BOOM! You got Teremok. ...And incase any Russians or World War 2 fanatics are reading this, yes, Teremok didn't exist during WWII, the authoress knows that. She just wanted to be a lazy ass and picked the only Russian restaurant she knows for this.

Oh FUCK, she's coming up to me! Gotta run!

From now on the authoress will be narrating this piece of crap. ...OK, back to the story.

China gulped as he sat down in a booth with said Russian. This date was going WORSE then he thought. And he thought Russia was going to beat him to a pulp. _Well, if he's going to do it, he could've taken me to a fancier place._China thought to himself as he held back a pout and looked for a menu. Wh- Oh yeah, this was a Russian McDonalds, there WASN'T any menus.

"I'm going to order for us, da? OK!" Russia slipped away and walked to the cash register, leaving China alone... in communist country.

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I want to go home! I should've brought Shinatty-chan!_China pulled his knees close to his frail figure and started to shiver. It's been said before, but it'll be said again, this was a terrible idea!

Russia came back rather quickly with the food. It was rather simple, well...it was a fast food place. It was soup. Mushroom, China guessed.

"I didn't know what you would like so I got soup. That's OK, da?" Russia smiled his usual smile and sat across from him. For some reason, the smile wasn't as...umm...creepy as usual? Bright as usual? Whatever the right word was, Russia's smile just didn't seem fucking right, dammit! However, China didn't put too much time into it. He didn't eat much today and dipped his spoon into the mushroom flavored liquid.

...China has to admit. This date wasn't bad so far. Russia didn't try to kill him yet, which was really nice. They actually had conversation that wasn't awkward. After the first few tries. At first one of them would go something like; "So...how's everything?" And the other would go something like; "Alright." Then...silence. If you want the truth, they learned a lot about each other. For some reason, Russia likes hugs. ...A bit creepy, but at least it's better than bloodshed.

Russia suddenly stood up all of a sudden, knocking the soup bowl onto it's side. He had an urgent look on his face for some reason. China jumped to the side, soup almost spattering on his clothes. What the hell?!

"I have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back, da?" Russia didn't wait for an answer, he swiftly made his way to the bathroom with a slam.

That was _too_weird! Like this whole story wasn't weird or crappy enough! China looked over his shoulders to the bathroom where Russia was located. Should he wait?

...Well...his feet already made that decision for him, since they refused to move.

...One minute...

...Three minutes...

...Ten fucking minutes! China got up. _How rude!_Was Russia trying to ditch him? Him?! Out of all people? China was the sane person on this date! Why would Russia ditch him? Well, the elder nation was going to get to the bottom of it! He turned around and made his way to the lavatory. He tried to push the door open.

...Locked.

...Oh hell no! It's on now! China stood back and let his right foot to all the work.

Yes, he kicked that door open! The Chinese man looked around the bathroom. It looked normal. The walls were all black for some reason, the mirrors were scratched, but that wasn't a big deal. _Oh look, there's blood on the walls._China commented in his head as he admired the decor. ...Wait a minute. Blood?! What the hell?!

Suddenly Russia's voice rang through the room.

"Now you become one with Russia now, da?"

...I know this is breaking forth wall (but it's already been broken so, meh.) but RUN CHINA RUN!

...Of course, like in all horror movies, he doesn't run. The nation tiptoed to a stall and opened it a crack. Nothing. The next stall. Open. Still nothing. The third stall. Open. ...Oh look, there's Russia's head! China started to close the door and realized what he saw. RUSSIA'S FUCKING HEAD! AND IT'S NOT ON HIS BODY!

"R-Russia, aru?!" China opened the stall all the way and wished he didn't.

Russia's head was resting on that little mini garbage can every stall seems to have, there was those rim things attached to the chin, like his head was a light bulb. His body was sitting on the toilet with a dead man, stabbed to death, in his lap. Apparently he was pooling the blood from the man into his hands, up to his neck, and letting the blood run into his neck to the rest of his body. Like a sink drain! And guess what was still there. His scarf. Like it was the outlet to his head. ...This somehow makes sense if you overthink it a bit.

...The point is, he isn't human!

"China! Glad you can come, da!" Russia smiled a rather toothy smirk. And his TEETH! They were splattered in BLOOD!

...China felt like he was about to throw up.

"Want to know the true meaning of 'becoming one with Russia?'" Russia's body stood up, letting the dead man fall to the ground with a plop. China backed up and did the only thing he could.

...He ran his ass back home. With a slam he closed the door and started piling up a onto of shit against it. The couch, chairs, and even Taiwan, who wasn't too happy about it.

...Moral of the story is; never wonder about Russia's scarf.

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**A.N.: Well, that was my first fanfic here. Wasn't it cracktastic? XDDD**

**-xlittlecrazyviex**


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